ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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