That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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