yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
