So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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