are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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