Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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