Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
