i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
