me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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