the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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