i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize