Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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