Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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