We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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