I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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