i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
