last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
