All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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