I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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