got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
