He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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