I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
