Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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