nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
