you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
