so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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