Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
