don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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