yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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