I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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