My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
