u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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