I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
