bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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