In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
