.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
