My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
