His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize