We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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