Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
