She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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