Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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