I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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