im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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