therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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