i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize