i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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