I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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