it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
