I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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