You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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