so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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