You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
