Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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