Having a random hookup so left but love u
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
