What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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