sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
