I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
