Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
