Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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