Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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