seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
