You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
