weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
