I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
