I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
