its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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