Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
