she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
