Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
