In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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