Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
