Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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