I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
