my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
