what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize