So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
