U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
