Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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