He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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