you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize